Car Ride
March 2021
“The Car Ride” is not really about a car ride but what happens during a particular car ride. This sets the beginning of a short stories series. Names of characters have been changed to protect the identities of any individuals. Warning - emotional triggers ahead.
Backdrop: University Year 2 Semester 2, Drop-off area at my house
I had an event and got to reach school early on a particular morning. I had accepted an offer from Jeannie (my university junior) 's dad to pick me up from my home as it was along the way, and he will send both of us to school. I got into the back seat of a red sedan, and I'm observing as Jeannie’s dad drive. Jeannie’s dad is at full control behind the steering wheel, and it was also at this point that I felt really envious that Jeannie is being driven to school. It’s like Jeannie can rest peacefully and have an brief but uninterrupted rest for.
“Oh, how i long for a feeling and a moment like this", where I know I am safe and Dad will take care of everything, I don’t have to worry for the next few minutes”.
Ever since my dad deceased, I felt that I had to pick up the mantle of being the man of the household. Perhaps I had imposed it on myself to shoulder some weight & burden. I have been staying strong (rather putting up a strong front) for some time, and I’m afraid to show weakness. "Stay strong now, you're the man of the house" used to be what is going on during the first few months after dad passed away. Unconsciously, I have built a 6-inch thick wall around me and made me emotionally guarded and closed off.
"Show no weakness, nothing can hurt me, I'm untouchable"
As we reached the university drop-off point beside the bookshop/library, Jeannie's dad gently jolts her awake from her 15-minutes nap and kiss her goodbye on the forehead. A wave of emotion overwhelms me at this point before I carry on with the rest of my day.
Epilogue
My most fond memories of my dad is the time we spent in this red Honda Accord. He would fetch me to and from school everyday, we would be in the car during the weekends to go to different places for breakfast. Hence, when I was in the backseat of Jeannie’s car, I started to reminisce the past.
